Empty Memories

My children love to play the Memory Game.  I'm not talking about the one with matching picture cards.  I'm talking about the one with matching memories from the past to moments in the present.  

We'll be in the midst of a discussion or a car ride or a dinner and they'll launch into, "remember when..." Occasionally,  with the older three, it's some comparison between how "difficult" their existence was in comparison with the "carefree" lives of the younger three. 

Most of the time the memories shared are of crazy things we've done together, simple everyday routines, our homes and neighborhoods where we once lived.  The wonderful thing about all of their memories, even the exaggerated ones in which I made their lives so "difficult," is that they all have a constant theme.  All of their memories are full..Full of fun and laughter, full of joy and togetherness.  In sharing their past, they fill our home with a sense of contentment and satisfaction. 

Tonight, though, the memory game was different.  For the one child whose little feet have only been under my dinner table for the past 18 months, (my newbie) some of his memories are empty.  And sometimes, our fullness is such a contrast, it takes my breath away.  

With just my little three home for dinner tonight,  I got ahead of myself and had everything ready super early.  As my sweeties came downstairs, I told them we'd have an early dinner and maybe popcorn later.  They loved that plan, but Big Sister (of the little 3) looked at the clock, and in her best memory-game voice said, "We've never had dinner this early!"  And then, from somewhere far away, and yet a place close by in his heart, came an empty memory out of my little newbie's mouth.  He said, so quietly, only I heard, "I used to not have dinner...Or breakfast."  It wasn't exaggerated.  It wasn't for sympathy.  It was matter-of-fact, a memory that didn't match the fullness of the moment, a memory of empty.  

One of my little guy's biggest struggles is with food.  It's never a struggle to get him to eat.  It's a struggle to assure him that he's had enough.  When you've known empty for a long time, it's tough to comprehend full.  Every morning when he wakes up, I have his favorite breakfast cereal waiting in a covered bowl out on the table so when he comes down he knows there is no fear of empty this morning.  Our table is always full. When I started this for all three of the littles, my older ones (the Big 3, as they call themselves) didn't understand.  They said, "You didn't do this for us." No, thank The Lord, I didn't have to.  When I explained, they understood.  His memories don't match theirs.  They get it.  (Now, one of the Big 3 secretly pours more milk in their pre-made cups because she worries their cereal will be dry.)  

I'm praying the memories our newbie is making in our little world will always be full...full of fun, laughter, love and satisfaction.  I pray even more that when he memory-matches in the future, the memories of God's provision will fill him with the knowledge of how very much he is loved by the One Who holds his life fully in His hands. 

 

"You make known to me the path of life;  in your presence there is fullness of joy;  at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."  Psalm 16:11

Equipping Them for Something Greater

This morning I read about David's desire to build a temple for God in 1 Chronicles 22. God told David the temple would be built by his son, Solomon. I love what David did next. He gathered everything Solomon would need, making preparations so that his son would be fully equipped to complete the work. Then, instead of doing the work for him, or in his name, David charged Solomon by saying, "Now set your heart and your soul to seek The Lord your God. Therefore arise and build the sanctuary of The Lord..." 

In this account, there is a powerful challenge to me as a mom. Do I prepare and equip my children for great spiritual work? I equip them for great educational work, buying curriculum, taking months to prepare for each upcoming school year. I search out programs and activities to add to their educational experience. I agonize over college choices and decisions, always desiring the best for them in the academic field. 

I equip them for great sports competition. I buy shoes and bikes and whatever is necessary to give them an edge in their sport. I arrange schedules, attend practices, watch games and races, cheering them on to success. I encourage them to give their best on their playing field. 

I equip them to enjoy great relationships. I create opportunities for them to invite friends over. I seek out families with children their ages and build relationships to provide time to spend together. I buy play equipment, games and toys to be shared with others. I encourage them to reach out and to get involved with other kids their age, all so they will be happy, healthy and well-adjusted in the field of friendship. 

But, the challenge to my heart this morning is not about equipping my children to be happy or healthy or even well-adjusted. The challenge to my heart this morning is about equipping my children to be holy. God told David He would use Solomon to build the Temple. I must seek God for His desire in the lives of my children. When David learned God's heart for His work, he set out to prepare everything his son would need to follow and fulfill God's desire. 

Today, my thoughts are turned to God's desire for my children. I want to know how He is leading for their future. I want to seek His face on their behalf. As He begins to reveal His will, I want to do all I can to make them ready, equipping them and preparing them for all He has planned. 

Today, I'll share His Word with them. I'll purpose to spend more time choosing a good study Bible than I do choosing the right pair of running shoes or math curriculum for them. I'll also purpose to study each child to see their special, unique spiritual gifts and find outlets for them to practice serving in those gifts. I'll pray and let God lead me in this preparation process, following through with His provision and His direction. And then, I'll watch as He takes my little ones and makes them into spiritual giants in whatever Harvest Field He places them. I know for a fact His field is better than any other field they could play on, and His work is greater than any other work they could achieve in their lifetime. His rewards will be greater than any end of the year trophy or any finish line medal they could win. They will be happy and healthy and well-adjusted when they follow Him because they will be holy. This is my prayer for my children. Oh, Lord, may it be so. 

How about you? Are you challenged to equip your little ones for something greater? 

A Rooster on Good Friday

This morning as our rooster crowed, I was reminded of Peter and his denial of Jesus. It was a heartbreaking failure in the life of a man who had committed himself to go with Jesus "both to prison and to death." Yet, when fear and pressure entered the picture, the colors of Peter's passion went from red to yellow.  His courage failed and cowardice triumphed. 

I'm so much like him. 

And, I'm thankful that the rooster's crow is not the end of the story...As Jesus caught his eye, Peter was reminded of the words He had spoken to him just a few short hours before this life-changing moment:

Luke 22:31-32 says, "And The Lord said, 'Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren." 

Jesus prayed for Peter. John 17 shows us Jesus prays for us.  Not only does He pray, but just as He did in Peter's life, He also encourages us. He forgives. He restores.  As the events of the crucifixion progressed, Peter witnessed how deep and how wide the love of Christ will reach to grasp the heart of a sinner and to bring him to Himself. 

Jesus promised Peter would return; but it would not happen until after the cross.  The cross would make the difference.  Tragedy melting into triumph. Faith finding strength in forgiveness.  A shattered coward rebuilt to become a champion. For Peter, the cross changed everything.  For us, it still does. The cross...the cross, the place where broken hearts and broken lives are all made completely new...all because of Jesus.  

So today, if you hear a rooster crowing, with your ears or in your heart, don't crumble in your failures, come to the cross instead.  Lay your failure down and let Jesus restore your faith.  And when He does, look around and strengthen a sister who needs to know that Jesus loves her and His forgiveness is complete.  Let this Good Friday be Restoration Day for you. 

Amen and amen. 

Them's dancin' words...

I've been perusing way too many blogs and their comment sections lately. Frankly, I find many of them downright disturbing.  They leave me with one burning question: Why are we so angry? 

While it does not give me pause to see the anger of the world lashing out in print, music and all things media, I do wonder why is there so much anger and hostility among Christian writers and commenters?  Why does everyone feel the need to be right all.the.time?  Why do we feel that our point must made, our voice must be heard and our views must be vindicated at any and all costs?  

I cannot even begin to understand the fury with which people who bear the name of Christ attack one another on any number of topics on any given day.  Do we really not understand what Jesus meant when He said, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another"?  Do we really not care that He said, "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another"? (John 13:34-35)

I'm pretty sure  this post is not going to be a world changer; but for me it certainly is a word changer.  I commit to love first before I let loose in print.  I promise not to engage my Christian sisters in vain arguments, disputes over secondary issues or opinion wars.  I want the words I write to be edifying and life-giving.  I want to hold them up as love offerings to bridge a gap, break down a barrier, or provide hope where there is desperation.

I'm not naive or blase' about the real issues and the tough conflicts of life.  

And I know firsthand life can be immeasurably difficult; but in Christ, it can be extraordinarily beautiful.  I want my words to dance in His beauty; and I would love if they somehow persuaded others to join me in the dance.  Besides, dancing is so much more inviting than fighting...

See what I mean?

A Boy and a Basket

Today my boy got his first basket...And I missed it...And my heart broke.  It wasn't because I wasn't paying attention. I was. I was looking at him, at his brother on the bench and at his sister cheering on the side.  But somehow, he put the ball up, he made it and I missed it. There will be other baskets.  But this was the first and it stung a bit because I've missed so many firsts in his little life. 

I missed his first smile, his first steps and his first word.  I missed his first day of school and his first skinned knee.  It wasn't because I wasn't looking.  It was because he wasn't mine.  I was reminded of that simple truth today. I was reminded that although I missed his first basket, God saw it.  And although I missed so many other firsts, God saw them.  He saw every single one. Because he's His. 

My little guy belonged to another mom before he came to me.  He belonged to God all along.  God always sees him, even when I can't.  I'm so thankful that  he's more His than he's mine.  God's gaze is never hindered.  They'll be other baskets and other firsts.  I'll keep watching.  And I'll keep looking to the Father Who never takes His eyes off of both of us. 

Making the most of a Snow Day

Snow days are new to us, especially since we homeschool.  We've decided to follow the lead of our local school system and extend our Christmas break while the white stuff is still on the ground.  Besides, there is much to be learned on our winter wonderland.  We've studied snow flakes under a microscope, determined the trajectory of sleds flying off snow ramps, experimented with temperature differences in snow forts and thrown boiling water into the air to watch it turn to snow.  My word, we've completed a winter unit study without even realizing it! 

All of our "school-free" days have been exciting and fun; but yesterday, I felt the need to gather everyone around the school table and talk about what this year holds for us.  We started with a devotion from Ephesians 5:15-16, which says:

"See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil." (nkjv)

Following a brief discussion about the meaning of "circumspectly" (carefully considering consequences) we moved on to talk about redeeming our time.  Redemption is a beautiful word, full of possibility and promise.  I went around the table, from child to child and explained times I've witnessed in which each one of my six have redeemed their time for good.  It was heartwarming to watch their faces light up as I pointed to their selfless acts, expressions of kindness and initiative to help others. 

My desire for this year is that we will be purposeful with our time, remembering each moment is a gift from God.  I also want my littles to be motivated from their hearts and led by God's Word, rather than pushed by my hands or prodded by my words. 

So, our next step was to set goals. Goals give us something to shoot for, a target to sharpen our focus.  Of course, they needed to know how to set a personal goal.  I explained the process this way: 

1) Think about each area of your life. 

2) Consider the gifts and talents God has   given you. 

3) Take a look at where God has you right now. 

4) Explore what you would like to do and expand that to include what only God can do through you. 

5) Ask God for an anchor verse of Scripture to set your goals and keep them tied to His Word and His purpose for your days. 

We settled on six goal areas:

Spiritual

Physical

Educational

Service

Social

Entrepreneurial 

Everyone went to a quiet place alone to pray and write down their own goals.  I met with each child individually to talk about strengths, weaknesses, possibilities and my role in coming alongside them to accomplish their goals.  This time was precious.  It allowed me to hear their hearts and to express my faith in God to do mighty things in and through them.  I can't wait to see what He does. 

In case you're wondering how a little one would go through this process, we simplified it for the 6 and 8 year olds.  They had to draw three pictures showing how they can be a help at home, at church and to others.  Their pictures, as well as the desires of their hearts, were priceless.  Our 6 year old drew a picture of himself leading a friend to church and wrote: "Come with me to God."  Our 8 year old, who came home to us (through adoption) a year ago with huge issues concerning fear that he wouldn't have enough food, wrote: "I will give people food." Looking me in the eyes, he said, "Because we have lots of food, Mom, and some people don't have enough."  Oh. My. Heart...

What I learned from this snowy goal-setting day is that we do have "lots"- lots of love, lots of hope and lots of God's gifts to give.  I am excited to see what God will do as we redeem the time for Him this year.  If you're snowed in today, or if you find yourself in a sunny spot, why not ask God how you can redeem the time for Him this year?  You'll be glad you did! 

Winter Wondering

Today the temperature outside is colder than I have ever experienced: -8 with a windchill factor of -25. Our weatherman warned that it would only take 10 minutes for any exposed skin to suffer permanent frostbite in these conditions. Scary. 

As I sit by the window looking out at the beauty of the snow covered winter wonderland, it's hard to believe there could be so much danger out there. Yet, as I sip my coffee, I'm reminded that my protection comes from staying inside where there is warmth and shelter from an environment that could destroy me. The parallel impact of my Bible reading this morning almost took my breath away. 

I'm using the One Year Chronological Bible and have come to the account of Abraham and Lot.  Abraham gave Lot the first pick of land to settle and Lot chose to "pitch his tent toward Sodom". In Lot's eyes the land around Sodom was wonderful.  Yet, we discover no matter how beautiful Sodom looked on the outside, it was a horribly wicked place, filled with unspeakable danger. But Lot chose to go there, to raise his daughters there.  He moved right inside the city and made his home there. 

Abraham, on the other hand, chose land set apart from Sodom.  One day three men came to visit Abraham. One of those men was the Lord, Who told Abraham about the coming of his promised son, Isaac.  Wonderful news. But He also told Abraham of the destruction He would bring on Sodom. Abraham pled for his nephew Lot (in the sparing of 10 righteous people) and the Lord agreed to spare him. 

The two angels accompanying the Lord went on to Sodom to meet Lot.  When they arrived, men of the city, young and old, came to Lot's house and demanded to have the "men" for their own sick purposes.  They became hostile and Lot was saved only because the angels pulled him back in his house and afflicted the men with blindness.  Horrific scene. As the angels sent Lot and his family out of Sodom, Lot's wife looked back and suffered fatal consequences of her disobedience.  She was turned into a pillar of salt. 

Lot and his daughters ended up living in a mountain cave. His daughters made a horribly sinful choice and birthed sons of incest.  These sons grew to evil nations that plagued the children of Israel for years to come. 

Thinking of all the heartache and evil surrounding Lot, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if he had stayed closer to Abraham.  What if Lot chose to stay close to the protection of God's promise?  What if he saw Sodom for what it truly was; cold, dangerous and deadly?  Things could have been so much different for him, his wife and his children. His impact could have been for good, not evil, his legacy for righteousness, not ungodliness. 

Heartbreaking. 

Abraham certainly wasn't perfect; but he chose to stay near God, in the protection of His promise.  Abraham believed God. His faith was counted as righteousness. The righteousness of God kept him safe from the danger and destruction of the outside world.  Staying close to God allowed Abraham to live a life of security in the protection of His Father's arms. 

So, as I look out the window at a world of sparkly white, though beautiful, I'll remember there is danger in overexposure. This world is full of beautiful things, many of which God has given us to enjoy.  But He never meant for us to venture out unprotected by His covering hands.  Staying close to Him is the only sure way to escape the permanent damage of the world's desire for us.  I'm thankful today, and everyday, for the warmth of His secure embrace. 

"You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11

"Keep me as the apple of Your eye; hide me under the shadow of Your wings..." Psalm 17:8