Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Running Behind

I can't get used to this Midwestern weather. One day, the sun is brightly shining and running in shorts feels just right. The next day it's cloudy, windy and about 30 degrees colder...not pleasant.

Last week was an experience of weather extremes and I was not in the mood to run in it. My husband talked me into layering up and lacing up. We headed out and grumpiness hit my heart as soon as the chilly wind hit my face. I began to complain...loudly.

As we rounded a turn, my husband ran in front of me. At first I thought he was tired of hearing me whine about the cold, but then I realized he was blocking me from the full force wind we had turned into at the corner.

I ran behind him for a while, thankful for the break from the cold, until my grumpy heart had another complaint. I couldn't see ahead of me. And I didn't like not seeing where we were going. All I could see was my husband, running ahead of me, out in front, choosing our path. Hmmm, comfort or control. My bad attitude cried out for both. I could not be satisfied with comfort because I could only focus on lack of control.

In that moment, God spoke to my heart. He called me to look at my discontentment on this run and consider it as a reflection on my life run with Him. Ouch. I realized how often my heart cries out for control. God stays in front of me, shielding me from the icy onslaught of the world and I become grumpy because I can't see ahead, I can't choose the path.

One of my favorite verses in all of Scripture is Ps. 25:4. It says, "Show me Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your path." Not only is He willing to teach me His wondrous ways and to show me His providential paths, but Jesus is willing to take the full force of any icy wind blowing my way.

Why do I keep trying to run up front? Because my nature thinks it knows a better way and my feet blindly follow my selfish flesh, leaving my heart out in the cold.

I'm learning to run behind The most Elite Runner of all time on this race of life. Hebrews 12 tells me Jesus has run this course before, knows the path, chooses to run before us and shields us from dangers we won't ever have to see. Although I often can't see what's up ahead and I have to trust Jesus to choose the path, running behind really is the way to get ahead.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Out of the Blue

On this last journey through toddler years, I'm soaking in every new phase. To me, each progressive stage of newborn to elementary age is fascinating, but the one we're in now just sends me over the moon.

My littlest Little is five, just stretching into his five year old britches, with a mind and personality that are both a bit bigger. I adore watching his unique personality develop. He's quite the charmer when he chooses to be.

More than a budding charisma, I love watching his heart decipher the big thoughts in his little mind. Daily, he has questions, deep questions. He longs to understand, to piece together the stories of Scripture he's learning with the heart of their message.

On a recent vacation, we were nestled together as a family in a tiny, touristy ice cream shop. I turned to see my little man with a far off look in his eye, and from that out of the blue place came this question, "Mom, were the people who made the Titanic like the people who built the Tower of Babel?"

Uh...Gulping my frozen yogurt and pushing aside the fact that no one was speaking of the Titanic or a tower of any sort, I tried to get to the heart of his question. "Do you mean were they prideful?" He nodded with the most urgent look on his face, as if to say, "This is important. I've got to get this pride thing. It's big and it's bad and I think I might understand it." "Well, yes, "I replied, "They thought they could make the biggest and the best and the unsinkable. They didn't listen, so, yes that was prideful." He nodded, this time in affirmation to himself of the connection made in his mind and heart. And with that he went back to his single sized scoop and his triple sized thoughts.

Oh! I want to linger with him in that out of the blue place where his eyes are opening to spiritual things. It's a beautiful place. It's the place he goes to each morning in devotions when he listens with such intensity that his facial expressions react to the drama of the text. As we studied the events leading up to the crucifixion, he focused on every scene of the upper room. In his mind he was there.
It's a breathtaking thing to watch.

As a mom, my heart cries out to God to continue to woo this little one with His Word. I pray his fascination with it, his focus on the details of each passage, will never fade. My biggest prayer though is that God's Word will continue to connect with his heart.

I wonder why we can't all be like my little man, living in that out of the blue place where our hunger to understand compels us to match what we see in the world with the message of the Word. Why can't we rise above all that is taking place around us to see Jesus and let His Truth be our reality? Is it because we've stepped out of the blue and into the gray? Everything we once simply understood, believed at face value, depended on in childlike faith has somehow gotten lost out there in the murky gray of the foggy teaching of the world.

So how do we go forward, through the haze? We go back, back to the simple, but profound Truths of the Scripture. Instead of seeking more of the world in flesh, we seek more of the Word made flesh. We seek Jesus. We ask Him those out of the blue questions to bring clarifying connections in our heart and mind. He's promised if we seek Him with all our heart we will find Him. If there is anyone who seeks with all their heart, it's a child. Their determined focus is amazing. Just think about when they want a new toy. They seek a relenting yes and focus until they get the desired answer.

I believe this is the way Jesus would have us live. As a matter of fact, focusing on a child Jesus set in their midst, He taught the disciples, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven" Matt. 18:3).

Let's go there, to that out of the blue place where we see life, death, family, friends, strangers, enemies, work, home, church, everything, as Jesus sees them; connecting His Truth to our circumstances and trusting in His answer to be the only Answer we ever need. And contemplating it all over a frozen yogurt just might help.