Covenant Friendship

I'm fascinated by the entangling of lives that happens in friendship. It's easy to see friendship is a true gift of God; however, the grasping of that gift often isn't easy at all. Totally unexpected and unplanned, this week I will be teaching all 3 Bible classes on the same subject: friendship. We are studying the life of David in two classes and the book of Ruth in one. It just so happens that in both studies we'll be digging deep into the rich soil where friendship is planted...commitment in Christ.

In both studies we are examining the two most complex, most wholehearted, most committed declarations of friendship ever made between two people in Scripture. Apart from friendship granted to us by God through salvation in Christ, the covenant made between David and Jonathan and the declaration bond between Naomi and Ruth are the deepest commitment to friendship we will ever see. Covenant friendship, friendship of the heart, is the gift God intended for His Body to exhibit in the world. Yet, I dare to say there are few Christian women who truly grasp the gift. We often have token friends, who share the same hobbies or interests. We can certainly have fun together participating in or talking about those outside shared interests; but when we walk away from our time together we realize we don't know very much about the inside of our friend at all. Then we have location friends, those who are where we are in life, in neighborhoods, at jobs, in schools, in sports activities. We get together around a common purpose, we meet, we talk, we grill out, we cheer on our team, but we never dip below the surface to discover the life journey that brought us to our common place. We also have church friends, the ones we see a few times each week. We go to Bible study together, sing worship songs together, share preschool duty and bring potluck lunches together, but we never share what Jesus means to us, how desperately we need Him. We close our Bibles, pick up our casserole dishes and go home to live out our busy lives apart, until we see each other at church again. All of these types of friendship have one thing in common: they don't have any HEART.

A HEART friendship is one that Honors Jesus at the center, is built by Encouragement in the Word, is an Accountability relationship, not dodging the tough questions. As friends, there is a common desire to Reach the world. A HEART friends consistently Takes the other to the Throne of God in prayer. I am so very thankful for the gift of covenant HEART friendships in my life.

These are the women who, like Ruth, have gone the distance with me when I, like Naomi, didn't make the distance fun. They have run to find me to strengthen me in The Lord when my heart, like David's, has become weary in the battle. They have rejoiced with me like Naomi when God has planted me in just the right field like Ruth. They have cried with me like Jonathan when God said it was time to move away, like David. We have prayed the deep, soul-starving, God-seeking prayers together and for one another. We have laughed and danced like the king in the Presence of our God. These women have confronted me in moments when my heart was confused at the hearing of the Truth my head was screaming. They have given me wisdom greater than their years. They have served me meals when I was sick. They have served with me as His hands and feet and mouthpiece as we have loved, given to and taught women in the Word together. I know and have full confidence that like Ruth's declaration to Naomi and David's covenant to Jonathan, my people are their people and my children will always have a place at their table. I am so very grateful for covenant friendships of the HEART.

My prayer as I stand before the women this week and we walk with these four Biblical friends, is that each of them discover the gift of a covenant friend in our midst with whom they can share their HEART. I pray the same for you today. If you have this gift of friendship, I rejoice with you. If not, look to Jesus and ask Him to show you the gift He has waiting. It may be someone you least expect. After all, a tired, elderly Jewish widow never expected a vibrant young woman from a pagan background to take up so much joy space in her heart.
And the royal heir apparent never expected to pledge his allegiance to a shepherd boy successor. Yet, God orchestrated the exchange of friendship gifts between them and left us beautiful footsteps to follow in our heart journey to and with our friends.

"By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another." John 13:35


Sweet friendship,
Stephanie

Action Plan

Today we went to the doctor for my daughter's asthma. It was the 2nd visit in two weeks. I was frustrated. But, this visit was different. Today the doctor gave us an "action plan". It involves using a breathing meter to see where she is on a measured scale, two inhalers, allergy medicine and an asthma journal. We're on it. Having an action plan helps me feel like we're making headway on this sometimes overwhelming and confusing journey. Life can can be an overwhelming and confusing journey as well. At times, it leaves me feeling as if I can't breathe. That's why I need my own action plan, a spiritual action plan. Everyday, I need to pray and ask God to assess my heart, showing me clearly where I am on His measured scale. Then I need a heavy dose of His Word, breathing deeply and letting it fill my spiritual lungs completely. I need to guard against those caustic things in life that cause reactions in my heart and mind. And, I need to keep a record of all God is doing in my life. I need to daily record prayers, praises, questions and answers found in His Word. Then and only then, after I've followed the plan, I can breathe freely, deeply, fully, enjoying life at full speed. My daughter's plan will cost us at the pharmacy counter. My Father's plan cost Him at the cross. I'll gladly pay the price for hers. I'm so very thankful that Jesus paid the price for mine.

"In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;" Eph. 1:7

The Way I See It

I took a blurry walk down memory lane today. A trip to a new eye doctor reminded me of the first time I went at age 14. Up until that time no one knew I had a vision problem. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know I had a vision problem. I thought my distorted view of the world was the way everyone else saw it. I'll never forget the day everything changed. Instead of glasses, my doctor started me out right away with contacts. Once I finally mastered the art of sticking a foreign object in my eye and keeping it there, I was set. I met my friends for our morning jaunt to the bus stop, when suddenly I saw something I had never seen before...leaves...on trees. I did not know people could actually SEE the individual leaves on trees. The trees in my world looked exactly like I had drawn them in the first grade; brown stumps with large green circles on top. But, now, in this whole new world I not only saw leaves, but actual blades of grass! I thought for sure I was seeing something no one else could see thanks to my miracle-working eye doctor. I grabbed the arms of my friends beside me, waved my hands frantically in the air, saying, "Do you see this??? Leaves, can you see the leaves???" After glancing at one another with an "I knew she had issues" look, they explained the leaves had been there, individually, all along. And, yes, they have always been able to see them. Grass blades too. Wow...I was floored. How had these wonders been all around me for my whole life and I had never seen them? That day was full of new discoveries and incredible revelations. It makes me think of the blind man given sight by Jesus in Mark 8:22-25. Jesus spit on his eyes and put His hands on the man, asked if he could see and the man responded, "I see men like trees walking." Then Jesus touched His eyes again and made him look up. Miraculously, the man was healed and could see everything clearly. I don't know why Jesus chose to heal the man in stages. I especially wonder about the blurry moment in between total darkness and perfect clarity. If Jesus had chosen to leave him in that state, his sight would have been better than before, but definitely impaired and incomplete. Yet, the man would probably think everyone saw the world the way he did and he never would have seen the face of Jesus clearly in front of him. When we blur the lines between the fleshly and the spiritual, we see "men like trees walking," or brown stumps with green circles on top. We begin to believe that everyone else sees things the way we do, so we never look up, never reach for clarity, never really seek Jesus. Through our blurred misperception, we miss God's hand in the world, and more tragically, we can't see Jesus standing right in front of us. But, if we point our face toward Jesus, and in submission, close our eyes behind His hands, He will perform a miraculous healing of our sight. Then when He gives the command to look up, we'll see the face of Jesus, clearly; maybe even for the very first time. And the sight of our Great Healer will change everything...Forever. Oh yeah, just for the record, I had a great check up; one more year without bifocals!

Mommy war

Last night we had a break-in. It wasn't the criminal type of break-in; it was much worse. It was an Enemy break-in. And I was mad. Somehow the door to the mind of one of my children was left unlocked and the Enemy invaded, ransacked that little mind and poured words out of the unguarded mouth. The words were wrong, inappropriate, and completely unexpected. And I was furious. Just like a break-in through my front door would leave me feeling vulnerable and helpless, I sat down in the middle of the mess and started to sink into what I perceived as helplessness... Until I realized the feeling inside of me wasn't one of vulnerability . I wasn't feeling helpless. I was feeling furious. At the Enemy. And God spoke, reminding me of the Truth, "Greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world."As I fell asleep in prayer, God gave me a battle plan. This morning He handed me His Sword. Then, I went to war. All day long I saturated the children in the Word. We put aside the bulk of math and science and focused on the Bible. We talked about our thoughts and words and prayed and made up hand motions with our memory verse. I downloaded a playlist of music with Scripture as the lyrics to play all night in their rooms while they sleep. All of this may sound extreme, and it is. War is extreme. As a mom, as a Christian, I can't forget I'm also a warrior. Ephesians 6 instructs us:

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

This same chapter reminds me to pray and keep on praying. I'm thankful for a God Who listens when I pray and promises we are "more than conquerers through Him Who loved us." So I have my armor, I'm wielding my Sword, and I'm trusting Him for the victory.

Running for Home

My runner-girl daughter is training hard up in these hills. Yesterday she ran up and over the monstrous hills surrounding our house with determination in her heart. The temperature was below freezing, but somehow she managed to run her fastest time ever for the distance she covered. She's preparing to run a race in the Spring; but the race is not her ultimate goal. Her goal is to be home. The race takes place back home in Florida and she desperately wants to be "home" running with her sweet friends. And so no matter what the day holds, she trains, gets out there and she gives it all she's got. No. Matter. What. Her discipline got me to thinking; what if I lived like she trains. Paul says in Philippians 3:14,
"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
What if we pressed on, persevered, endured no matter what the day holds?
What if we pushed for the goal, the upward call, which is defined as the "invitation" of God and we did so in Christ? What if our goal truly became running Home? And what if we ran with the purpose of being surrounded by sweet friends who we've invited to join in the run with us by sharing the Gospel with them? If Heaven becomes our daily goal we will run our lives in a completely different way. My daughter makes sacrifices each day as she chooses to do the hard work of training over the comfort or enjoyment of taking it easy. She has a plan to go farther and get stronger on her run. She also measures everything else in her day by how it will affect her training. What if we willingly made sacrifices daily to do the hard work of discipleship? What if we made a plan to live stronger Christian lives with boldness? What if we thought about how everything in our day affects our Christian growth? Oh! Picture what our race would look like as we accept God's invitation to press hard toward Heaven. It would look like a Hebrews 12:1-3 kind of run..."Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
We would be casting off sin, keeping a steady pace and craving the sight of Jesus. We'd be focused and running hard for home. If this is how we plan to live and really begin to live the plan, we will be surrounded by sweet friends, all running home with us where the prize is the Ultimate...The greatest Prize is Jesus. What do you need to change, to start (or stop) doing today to press toward the goal? What will you do to start running hard for Home? I don't know about you, but I'm ready to lace up my running shoes and get out there, hills and all! I'll be looking for you on the road...

Dancing in the Grace Place

I have a confession to make...I've been dancing. That's right, my very Baptist self and I have been dancing. You see, these past few months have been unbelievably difficult. My heart has struggled many times just to keep beating, my lungs to keep breathing...tough days. The challenges of a huge move, new home, new church, new people--new can be achy when you long for the old. Your mind plays tricks on your heart and convinces you that the woman you saw driving past on that unfamiliar road was most definitely your friend from home, but why was she in a red suv when hers is white? Frustration comes when you can't find your family's favorite cereal on the foreign grocery shelf. And tears flow when you realize the place you called home for 10 years has now become a vacation spot. Throw in the everyday life of teens and littles, the rigors of homeschool, the 15 hour distance between mom and freshman daughter, along with the rollercoaster ride that is adoption and you find yourself in a very rocky place. As a matter of fact, it was more than all that. I found myself in the place where my trust was betrayed, answers were delayed, my emotions were played and my nerves were completely frayed. But it is in this place that I've seen grace. God has graced me with His presence in the rocky places. And just as our God is known for doing, His presence changes everything. He transformed that rocky place into a place of grace. And there in the grace place I found my soul dancing. I've been studying David and am fascinated with his reaction to the return of God's Ark to the Tabernacle in Jerusalem. As God's presence, represented by the Ark of His Covenant, moved before David, the Bible says he danced "with all his might." David's soul rejoiced in the presence of the Lord. I think I know how he must have felt. He was in the grace place. Through the struggle of the past few months, God's presence has been so real, so vivid, so kind and gentle that it moves my soul to dance in the grace place. So, if you see me standing still, just know on the inside I'm dancing with all my might.

Crocodile Tears

We are absolutely loving the joy our new little guy brings to our family each day. Yesterday though, something happened that I did not love-at first. Crocodile tears. You know the ones where the face scrunches up and the fists reach up to rub some form of liquid resembling tears from the eyes. These tears are the ones that scream, "I don't like this! I'm not happy! I don't want to do this!" when the voice knows it would be way too dangerous to shout those thoughts. It all started over rest time, not even the resting part, just the time. My new little guy is VERY concerned about time. When he wakes up, he wants to know what we will be doing during the day and when his rest time will take place. After rest time, he wants to know what the remainder of the day will look like and what time he will go to bed. We have basically the same night time routine and bedtime is set; yet, he is still concerned that somehow it might creep up an hour earlier. Yesterday, his time obsession got the best of him. I told him rest time would be until 5-3-0, made sure he heard me and sent him up to bed. For some reason, he came bounding down the stairs an hour early. I quickly told him he had another hour to go...And then it happened. His face scrunched and, mumbling something about it not being fair, the big ole' tears came out. It was as if time stood still for me. Through his tears, I could see clearly. We were about to turn a very important corner and for his sake, I was going to be sure to be in the lead on this one. I pulled him close, looked him in the eye, gave him the same instructions I had given him earlier, pointed out his mistake and lovingly, but firmly sent him back upstairs. I had moved from the "honeymoon phase" of coddling him to the real life phase of parenting him. It was a moment. And an hour later, he was up at the right time and happy about it. As I thought about this transition, I realized the only way it happened was because of the way God parents me when my crocodile tears flow. In those times when my heart says, "This isn't fair. I'm not happy. I don't like this!" In His goodness, God pulls me close, points out my mistakes, gives me His instructions again and lovingly, but firmly points me on His (not my) way. This week we're studying the book of Jonah here in the Little Academy. And, oh what a king of crocodile tears he was. God gave him instructions to go to the people of Ninevah and Jonah just didn't like it. He didn't think it was fair and he wasn't happy. So he ran and he hid and he fell and he sank and he ended up in the belly of a great fish. And there he decided to follow God. After a very messy repositioning, God planted Jonah on the shore and lovingly, but firmly, gave him the same instructions again, "Go to Ninevah." Jonah went, gave the message and the people repented. We would think Jonah would be rejoicing; but instead, he cried, crocodile tears over burning sun, a withered plant and a people he felt didn't deserve to believe in God. At the end of the book, we see God once again parenting, not coddling, lovingly, yet firmly pointing to Jonah's mistakes, instructing him in His way. God's way doesn't change. His instructions do not bend to our selfish manipulations. Our crocodile tears do not melt His heart because they come from a heart crying, "I, My, Me!" They flow from a fountain of pride. James 4:6 reminds us, "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." It's not our feigned tears of frustration that move Him. God is not against our real tears, tears of a broken heart, tears of repentance, tears of submission. As a matter of fact, He wipes away the tears of the humble and calls them "blessed". Luke 6:21 says, "...Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh." Psalm 56:8-9 speaks of God's tender handling of our true tears, "You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book? When I cry out to You, then my enemies will turn back; this I know because God is for me." God is for us. It's in humility that His grace is given and our way is made clear. What a way to parent...I'm so thankful to call Him Father.

Do-Overs and New Beginnings

I am a big fan of do-overs. I love wiping the slate clean, going back to the beginning and trying something again. Anyone who ever played softball with me in the church field growing up knows I'm the Queen of the do-over. I feel like I'm in the middle of one big life do-over and I'm finding that it's a great concept when you're on the verge of striking out, but not so much fun when your do-over includes leaving behind people and places that you love. Ten years ago God called us to do something big. He moved our family from Atlanta, GA to Jacksonville, FL. So many wonderful and exciting things happened in the ten years we were there! We saw God working in our lives in amazing ways! Two new children were welcomed into our family, bringing us from "Little, party of 5" to Little, party of 7," new friends were woven into the fabric of our being, God opened our hearts to adoption, ministries were birthed and blossomed for both of us, I became a runner and my husband a triathlete. We played and worked, danced and ran, laughed and cried and raised little ones together. And then one day God called for a do-over. And we did. He moved us across the country from the beaches of Florida to the woods of Missouri. My heart ached for those friends and family members we left behind. Leaving a firstborn at college 15 hours away is not a do-over I ever want to have again. In the short time we have been in Missouri, God has shown us He is in the business of the do-over. He planted us in a church, supplied a home, birthed a ministry, gave us some precious friends and brought us a child, all in a matter of two and a half months. After 10 years of praying over and thinking about adoption, we were able to bring our son, seven-year-old Nathan, home. He has been such a joy to us as God is molding him to his new family. There is a part of my heart that grieves over all we've left behind; but deep in my soul I know God is working, He is moving, He is making all things in this do-over brand new. I'm excited to be able to share this new beginning with my family, friends (both new and old) and with the women of West County Community Church as I work to serve as their Women's Ministry Director. I can't wait to see what God will do over in and through all of us.

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Is. 43:19

Take a look at my website as we add new things: Bible studies to download, 28 day challenges meant to inspire, teach and challenge young men and women in the Word. Please feel free to use materials you see here. If you have questions or suggestions, don't hesitate to let me know! I'm learning as I go and am always up for a do-over!

Joy to you!
Stephanie